If You Give Dean A Paperclip
by dudeurfugly
Summary: Oneshot based on the children's book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. Please read and review.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.**

**A/N: This is based on the children's book, "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie". This fic was co-witten by my younger brother (the outline, not the fan girl comments, obviously...lol) so some of the credit goes to him. Enjoy!**

**If You Give Dean A Paperclip**

If you give Dean a paper clip, he's going to want to find a lock to pick.

Once he picks a lock, he's most likely going to be hungry. Because the boy is _always_ hungry.

So, knowing Dean, he's going to want some apple pie. When you give him the apple pie, he'll want a fork to eat it with.

When you give him the fork, he'll see his reflection in the shiny metal (somehow) and this will remind him of how really good-looking he is. And you'll agree with him, because, well, how can you _not_?

Once he's finished with the pie, he'll say he's thirsty and ask for a beer. But you wont have a beer so Dean will get the idea to find one himself. Which means he'll want to go to a bar.

That will cause him to ask for the keys to his Impala, which you've conveniently stolen while he was eating his apple pie. Because, face it, who _doesn't_ want to take the infamous Metallicar for a drive? But then Dean gives you that adorable smirk of his, and you have no choice but to hand over his keys.

While Dean's driving to the bar in his Impala, he's going to want to listen to mullet rock. So, he'll probably ask for one of his cassette tapes. Once you put in his favorite--Zeppelin, of course--he might get carried away and start singing. And he won't realize that the Impala's gas tank is almost on Empty.

So, you tell him to pull over at a gas station, and he pays to fill up the tank halfway.

But, pumping gas into the Impala is going to make him realize how thirsty he is.

And so, you get back on the road.

When you enter the bar, he orders a beer, finally. However, while Dean is drinking his beer, he spots a very attractive girl with blonde hair and big boobs. Which means he'll want to go meet her. While Dean is flirting with this pretty girl, you, of course, are extremely jealous.

Dean will like this girl so much that he'll want to buy her a drink. However, he won't have any more money after buying the pie, the beer, and the gas for the Impala. He'll ask you for the money, and you'll give it to him, only because he's giving you that smile again. And while Dean and this pretty girl are flirting and enjoying their drinks right in front of you, you resist the urge to make comments about how much of a skank she is.

After finishing his beer, Dean will want to kiss this pretty girl, so he does. Until, the girl's biker boyfriend who is three times as muscular as Dean walks over and looks as if he's ready to pummel the hunter into the ground. And he does, only because the dude has a body equivalent to the Hulk.

Of course, Dean is going to want to fight back. He does, with you cheering him on the entire time, telling him to kick the guy's ass. But, biker dude is no match for Dean, unfortunately.

Once the biker leaves with his pretty girlfriend, Dean asks you to patch him up, since he received a black eye, a bloody nose, and a few cuts all over his gorgeous face. And, of course, you oblige, happy to be the one to help out the poor hunter.

Since you have to fix him up, he's gonna need band-aids and an entire first-aid kit. So, you and Dean go back to the Impala, where you whip out the first-aid kit and patch up his injuries. He thanks you the entire time, and you blush, telling him it's no big deal.

When Dean is all patched up, he'll notice that it's raining outside and he'll want to go back to the motel and watch movies with you, his hero. But when he points out that there aren't any good movies back at the motel, he'll want to go rent some.

So, he'll drive to the nearest video rental store. But, he realizes that there's blood on his shirt from when he had a bloody nose, so he'll want to change into a fresh one before actually entering the store. He'll ask you to grab a new one out of one of his bags in the back of the Impala, and you do so, knowing Dean will have to take off his shirt…

And when he does, you grin the entire time (but try not to let him notice that you're checking him out), staring at his nicely toned, muscular body. Then you snap out of it because Dean now has his shirt on and is leading you toward the video rental store, holding his leather jacket over your head so you don't get too wet.

Once you and Dean step into the store, he's going to want to pick out some horror movies. He'll ask you where the horror section is, and since you've never been in this particular video store in your entire life, you spend about five minutes walking around to find it, being too lazy to ask an employee.

When Dean gets to the horror section, he's going to want to get the movie _Hell Hazers: II_. And then when you ask why, he'll go into this elaborate story of how he got involved with the movie, working as a P.A., and taking care of some supernatural problems at the same time. Then, when he's finished with his explanation, he'll ask you to find the movie.

After searching the shelves for about twenty minutes, you don't see it, so you go to the front desk and ask the man working there if they have it. To your surprise, he hands you the _only_ copy they have available in the store that was just returned about an hour ago. When you hand Dean the movie _Hell Hazers: II_, you are extremely amused by how his face lights up like a little kid on Christmas morning.

While you and Dean are at the check out waiting in line (with the movie that _you'll_ have to pay for), he sees one of those mini freezer things filled with all sorts of ice cream bars, and he'll want one. But, he'll stand there for an unnecessary amount of time trying to decide which one he wants. In the end, he'll settle for some Haagen Dazs.

After the trip to the video rental store, you head back to the motel. And when you walk up to the door of the correct motel room, Dean will realize that he doesn't have his key to get in. Sam is inside, but since the younger Winchester is sound asleep, he'll never hear you and Dean knocking on the door.

And since the door is locked…

…chances are Dean will ask you for a paperclip to unlock it with.

Please review and tell me what you think, 'cause I might do one like this for Sam…


End file.
